Day 27 - The Magic Mirror

"The appearance of things changes according to the emotions, and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves."

Kahlil Bibran (1883-1931),

Poet and Artist

Rhonda says, "Negative feelings about yourself cause the greatest damage to your life, because they are more powerful than any feelings you have about anything or anyone else. Wherever you go and what ever you do you take those negative feelings with you in every moment, and those feelings taint everything you touch, and they act as a magnet, attracting more dissatisfaction, discontentment and disappointment with everything you do." Page 230, The Magic.

The Assignment

Today's assignment is to say thank you every time I look in the mirror and mean it more than ever before.

Gratitude Stone

I was most grateful for having the day all to myself to do what I feel like doing, when I feel like doing it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sometimes it feels like I am being pulled in ten million directions all at once. Everyone needs my attention or my help. And although I love my family more than life itself, it can be overwhelming at times. For the most part I thrive on being surrounded by my loved ones but sometimes, Mom, Grandma needs time to herself too.

I Am Grateful: (Day 27)

1. For the  gourds  growing in the garden. At first we thought the plants were pumpkins. Then we thought they may be watermelons. Turns out they are  ornamental  gourds. It makes me laugh. I often throw  food pieces in the gardens to decompose and we get surprises pop up in the summer. Once we all recognized the plants, I remembered throwing some guards into the garden last fall after Halloween. Faith and Sidney were so excited to cut some very unique looking gourds from the garden. 
2. That Faith slept in today and that meant I could sleep in too. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
3. For Nicole making pancakes and bacon for everyone. Bacon is a real treat around here. We had to cut the little ones off so someone else could have some. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
4. For the dishes being done by Nicole. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
5. For the cool refreshing day. I opened all the doors and aired out the house. It was wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
6.  For the candle Nicole had in her washroom because it came in handy when the power went out this evening. It was kinda freaky. We are used to power outages when there is an electrical storm but there was no storm tonight. It was pitch dark in the house and outside the house. Freaking scary. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
7. For my laptop's light because it lit the area I was sitting in when the power went out this evening. Otherwise I may have had a heart attack. Silly me, a grown woman afraid of the dark. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
8. That Nicole is afraid of the dark too so I had to be courageous and lead the way. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
9. For our indoor plumbing. I drank a lot of pop today and had to use the washroom many times. When my Aunt was alive, we use to visit her on the Six Nations Indian Reserve. She had an outhouse. It was stinky and suffocating in the summer and freezing cold in the winter. Come to think of it, I use to sleep over at my cousins house before they got indoor plumbing and we had to use the slop bucket in the middle of the night. It was so gross. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
10. We did not have a zombie apocalypse or alien invasion when the power was out. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, seriously, I am grateful the time while the lights were out was uneventful.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hand picked by my sweet granddaughters and mounted on the sill.

The Challenge

This is probably the most difficult assignment for me. I am one of those people who hates looking in the mirror or having my picture taken.

What can I say, I have low self esteem - always have. My earliest memory of self loathing is kindergarten.

A few months ago, I was looking at some photographs from my childhood. My Mom wasn't in very many pictures because she was the one operating the camera. I wished there were more pictures of my Mom.

It dawned on me, there aren't many pictures of me in our photo albums and it wasn't just because I was operating the camera. I often ducked out of sight when the cameras came out or hid behind someone. So many, many years from now, after I have left this world, when my children and their children are looking through our family albums, they will be disappointed that there are so few pictures of me. They won't care if my hair is a mess, what I am wearing, how much I weigh or about the wrinkles and grey hair- not that I have grey hair yet. They will just want to see me.

Having my picture taken? Not so much a problem - I just won't look at the pictures. As for my reflection, I avoid looking at it as much as possible.

To do this assignment I couldn't avoid looking at my reflection. I was brave. I looked into my eyes and tried to imagine what my family and friends think when they look at me.

Thank you.

Conclusion

I am diffidently going to keep practicing this assignment. I think is important for me - everyone to be grateful for being just who they are. We accept our loved ones for who they are so why are we so critical of ourselves?

I do admit as I have grown older, it has become easier to accept myself as I am and to be less critical. I wonder does it work like that for most people? What do you think?

Feel free to share. I'd like to know what is on your mind.