Monday, August 27, 2012

Day 26- - Magically Transform Mistakes Into Blessings

"Turn your wounds into wisdom."
Oprah Winfrey (B. 1954),
Media Personality and Business Woman

I actually have three comments by Rhonda that I would like to include today. 

The is the first quote. "We have the freedom to make our own choices and that means we have the freedom to make mistakes. Mistakes can hurt, but if we don't learn from the mistakes we've made, the pain we've suffered from it has been for nothing." Page 222, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne.

Jeff Groins has this to say about making mistakes. " About a year ago, I wrote a guest post that completely failed. It was for a large writing blog, and over the following few days it got about 20 comments from people who all disagreed with me.

It felt like someone had poured ice water over my shoulders, kind of like football players do to their coach for a winning football game. Except I didn't win.

It was painful. Embarrassing. Humbling.

However, I learned more about writing from that post than from 10 posts that were well received."

If you think about this you will see the truth in it. Everything we have experienced in our lives has molded us into the person we are today. It is through mistakes that we grow as a person and become wiser.

It is for this reason that I have no regrets in my life. I refuse to entertain the idea of doing things differently in the past. I rather look at it as ancient history from which I would like to learn.

And this brings me to the second quote. "To learn from a mistake, we first have to own it, and this is where many people can become undone, because they often blame someone else for their mistake." Page 222, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne.

I am sure you know a few people who never seem to take responsibility for their mistakes. I know I do. It can be very annoying to be around someone like this but more importantly, they are not learning a thing.

I'm not perfect. I have caught myself making excuses for my mistakes. It's a knee jerk response. 

Sometimes I am so stubborn that even when I realize I have made a mistake, I hate admit to it to others. But I do admit it  and try to figure out how to make corrections to avoid the same mistake.

And I am sure there have been times that I placed blame for my mistakes on someone else without even knowing it. I guess the trick here is awareness. Mindfulness. 

Last but not least is this quote from Ms. Byrne. "No matter how bad something may seem, there are always, always, many things to be grateful for. When you look for as many things as you can to be grateful for in a mistake, you magically transform the mistake into blessings. Mistakes attract more mistakes, and blessings attract more blessing - which would you prefer?" Page 223, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne.

How true, how true. It is all in our perception and there are many sayings that mimic this quote. For example, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And, when one door closes another door opens. It's seeing the good in what at first seems bad then learn from it.

The Assignment

Today's assignment is to think of one mistake and list ten reasons you are grateful for that mistake.

Ah, I will have to think of a good one here. Something big.

Gratitude Stone

Before I move on to the assignment I am going to share last night's gratitude stone. When I held my stone at bed time and reviewed all that I had to be grateful for that day, it was easy to choose which I was most grateful for.

I know I should  be most grateful for the medication my husband takes for his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because it has made a huge difference in his demeanor. But I think I will just take that for granted and pick something else.

Just kidding. I am grateful for my husband's medications and the subsequent change for the better in his overall mood. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Gratitude Journal

Sorry but before I move on, I have to complete my regular daily exercises so here is today's entry into my Gratitude Journal.

I Am Grateful:

  1. For having the day all to myself to do what I feel like doing, when I feel like doing it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  2. The opportunity to blog, to share this experience with others because I hope it helps us all find happiness and helps us fulfill all our dreams and desires. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  3. That Cole will continue with her Magic Practices. She just hit a bad patch and intends on getting back on track. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  4. For the abundance of energy I had today because I was able to get so much cleaning done. (For the last week I have been feeling sluggish and tired.) Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  5. That Christina helped me tidy up my room because it is usually the other way around. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  6. For the magnificent day. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  7. To Christina for making kraft dinner and hot dogs for supper. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  8. For my health. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  9. That Faith went willingly with her Nana this morning. (At first, Faith didn't want to go to her Nana's today. She said she was sick and has a fever. What a cutie. She told me she was burning up and had to stay home. I find it amazing that this came from a four year old. Well, once Nana told Faith that they were going to the trailer, Faith came running back to me to tell me she changed her mind. So cute.) Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  10. For another beautiful day. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The Challenge

I was trying to avoid what I consider my biggest mistake but I have decided to work on it because it didn't just impact me, it affected my whole family.

Where to start? My husband and I were doing well financially. We weren't rich by any means but we had great credit, a house, two good cars and didn't have to worry about money. I had savings and RRSPs.

Then we made a decision that we thought was a good one. Big, big mistake. It turned ugly real fast. 

In the end we were left holding the bag. The other couple sold their house and filed for bankruptcy. They took their money and ran leaving my husband and I with a huge debt.

For simplicity sake, let's call the other couple, Mr. and Mrs. Crud.

At first I was so angry that they did this to us. Ripped us off. Left us with a huge debt while they were someplace else living like nothing happened. The consequences for us? Bad credit. Huge debt that we are still paying for five years later.

The real bummer is our kids will on occasion remind us that this was a big mistake. I can't blame them. 

We struggled financially. I wish I could say we lived pay cheque to pay check but that would have been a luxury. Our money rarely made it past the weekend. There were times where the utilities were shut off. The kids heard the word "no" many many times. 

My husband blamed Mr. and Mrs. Crud. He wanted to get back at them. He wanted them to pay up.

I didn't blame the Cruds.

He also blamed me. He threw it in my face many times.

I didn't blamed him. Although if I used his mentality I could have easily found blame in him. He had a choice. He jumped at it too.

I blame myself. I was blinded by the visions of success -  money and I did not see what type of people the Cruds were. I jumped in without looking first.

I do not regret the mistake. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I just wish the consequences weren't so long lasting. I guess it was a lesson that needed to be learned in a very harsh way. It sucks.

So here I go. Blessings from my mistake.
  1. I am really grateful that my eyes have been opened to the kindness and generosity of other people in this world. I was pessimistic about the motives of others because I had been taken advantage of many times and ripped off and hurt. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  2. I am really grateful to have learned again to see where my blessings are instead of concentrating on the negative. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  3. I am grateful that I learned other people have their own agenda's and will do whatever they have to even it means hurting others. Just kidding. I am very grateful that my eyes have been opened even wider to the trials and tribulations of my neighbor. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  4. I am really grateful that we were able to find several resources in our community that assisted us and that I am able to share that information with others. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  5. I am really grateful to have learned, again, not to take what I do have for granted. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  6. I am really grateful that I now believe each day of life is a blessing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  7. I am really grateful that the importance of family and friends has been reinforced and strengthened. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  8. I am really grateful to this experience for compelling me to actually put into action my self improvement. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  9. I am really grateful that I can now recognize the type of person who will have a negative impact on my life so I  can avoid them. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  10. I am really grateful that I am now surrounded by caring, loving people. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


You know, I initially thought this was going to a difficult assignment but it turned out to be one of the easiest so far. Maybe it's because I am on day 26 now and I have had some practice in finding things to be grateful.

Writing a gratitude list for my big mistake has really put the experience into perspective for me. I mean, I knew, or thought I knew I should not regret the mistake. My reason, as I mentioned earlier was mistakes shape us into who we are but there really is so much more to it.

I am feeling pretty good about it right now. I wonder if that changes back later or I will be left with this wonderful feeling of euphoria. Time will tell.

If you have a mistake that has left you feeling bitter or angry about, I hope you try today's practice. It is liberating. I am not exaggerating. I feel really good right now. 

And I hope you will share your experience with me. Please leave a comment.

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