Friday, November 16, 2012

Pleading For Help

Letter of Depression
his is a copy of a letter that I emailed to our local MPP's office. At this point my husband has been to the MPP's office several times speaking to to Nick, the MPP's assistant. My husband wanted me to write to Nick. I didn't and still don't understand why but he insisted and growled at me until I wrote the email. I don't think in the scheme of things that it made a difference to Nick or my husband's case but I actually felt better after writing it. Have a read.

Hi Nick,

You don't know me but you have met my husband. I am not sure what he has told you. But last week I was so depressed and crying because i just had nothing left in me to keep going. He leaned toward me and said to stop worrying. He explained that you told him to stop worrying, that you would take care of it. It was enough reassurance that I could get up and kiss our honey bunny good night.

I didn't really believe that everything was going to be okay. These last three - four years have been a living nightmare. The constant anxiety, the butterflies in my stomach, my heart racing, the urge to rip my hair out and run around screaming. The problems with money, the problems living with someone who has PTSD . . .

As you know, my husband has not been working. He has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. His WSIB claim is pending and Disability takes forever.

We are always in arrears with the mortgage so the threat of foreclosure is always looming over our heads. Actually, I feel alone in this. My husband just doesn't seem to get the importance of paying our bills. Maybe it is his prescriptions or his PTSD. I don't know.

I have a three year old and a sixteen year old that I am responsible for. And of course my husband who cannot contribute financially, emotionally or physically (around the house). I can't afford food or keep up the bills.

In the fall of 2010, Union Gas disconnected our gas. I was carrying pots of boiled water up the stairs to the bathtub so our Hunny Bunny could have a warm bath. (The rest of us tolerated ice showers.) I ended up slipping and falling down the stairs and breaking my ankle. I had surgery on Saturday night and went home Sunday afternoon. I went to work on Monday because I couldn't afford to take any time off. I don't know if you have had a broken a bone like that -requiring screws, but the pain was excruciating.

My husband's car is sitting in the driveway. We have been using it for parts to keep my car going so I can get to work. We can't drive once it gets dark because the rear lights don't work. Someone slashed all four tires last spring then a few weeks later smashed the rear passenger door window. Someone thought I was lying when I told them what has been happening because no one has that much bad luck.

Did you know that Union Gas can shut off your gas in the fall and then when winter comes and you still have not paid the bill, your family can just freeze?

Did you know that Cambridge North Dumfries Hydro can shut off your electricity in the summer. That means no cooking, no hot water because the water heater requires electricity, no lights, nothing....

Did you know that we cannot get any kind of assistance because I make too much money?

I need to see light at the end of the tunnel. I am literally losing my mind.

We are going to lose our home. Nothing like kicking a person when they are already down. We were financially in a good place, now it has all fallen apart. I had to cash in RRSPs. I am being garnished for credit card debt. We racked up the cards trying to get by. I have borrowed from almost everyone I know. We are at the end now. No one else can lend me the money I need to catch up the mortgage again. The bank has sent the mortgage to the lawyers to initiate foreclosure. WE CAN'T LOSE OUR HOME. Please help us. Please. . .

Darlene Nemeth

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