We Suffer Too
W
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e live in Canada.. my husband has
PTSD from witnessing an accident at work on a construction site. Many
people just don't get it. But you know what? It does not matter what country
you live in or how you were injured. PTSD is PTSD.
Yes it is hard on the person who has PTSD but
it is also very hard on those who love and live with them. We suffer too.
I believed my husband when he spat out hateful lies at me. I could do no right.
I was a failure to my children and a useless human being.
Most days I would wake and think I hate my life.
I had to break that record in my head and replace it with, "today is a
great day to be alive". "I am grateful for another day" and I
count my blessings.
Actually it is more than just thinking happy
thoughts. It is changing my whole way of thinking. It works well enough
that I manage to get through the day. But there are times like today which I
cannot pull myself up and out of the sinking sand. I guess I am a work in
progress.
I am just sad. No particular reason. And this pisses him off. I don't understand that! He wants to know what is wrong with me. That is a laugh. I just look away into the distance. I am too tired to talk.