Sunday, October 7, 2012

Count My Blessings Instead of Sheep

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep."
Irving Berlin (May 11, 1888 - Sept. 22, 1989) 
Composer and Lyricis

So many days have passed by since my last post. I have been wondering through the days aimlessly. Forgotten the magic.

I need to get motivated but I am so unmotivated that I can't even wrestle up the energy to get mad at myself for being such a slug.

Sitting up at the table here is exhausting. If I didn't have bones to help keep me erect, I would be a puddle on the floor.

So how do I pull myself out of the depths? Some Magic Dust would be nice.

I am so good at helping others feel better but help myself? Forget it. 

Okay. I am going to get serious here. But first I NEED to grab a couple of oatmeal chocolate cookies. I will be right back.

Three cookies and a two hour nap. I am back.

I think the root of my problem is sleep deprivation. My day starts at eight a.m. and ends about three or four a.m. I am mentally and physically lethargic.

Why have I been staying up so late? Could it be that I haven't accomplished enough on my to do list and so I don't want the day to end. If I don't get enough done in a day, I feel like a failure.

I wonder if this is how Torrey Shannon feels. On her blog, she describes her troubles getting to sleep. Here is the comment I left on Torrey's blog (

October 7, 2012 | 1:00 pm
Hi Torrey. It sometimes amazes me how similar our lives are. My husband who has PTSD also hits the hay early and I am awake to the wee hours. I stay up until I am completely and utterly exhausted. Once my head hits the pillow and I get into my comfy spot I am out like a light.

Although I have to admit, there are times that even after a hectic day, I lay awake with thoughts swirling chaotically in my head. If I am lucky, I remember to count my blessings. It stops the run away train in my head and I can fall asleep with a smile on my face.

Thanks for letting me know I am not the only person anxiously waiting for sleep – hoping it hits me before the sun rises.

Here is my advise to myself,
"Hi Darlene. It sounds like the expectations you set for yourself are too high. You are setting yourself up for failure by making the list unrealistic. When creating your "to do list" set realistic goals. Allow enough free time for unexpected requests for your time. You will also need to set aside enough time to take care of yourself. You are not superwoman. " 

Are the expectations you set for yourself unrealistic? Do you expect way more from yourself than others in your life?

I would love to read your comments
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