Was He Dismissed Because of His PTSD?

Dismissal

H

e knew it was coming long before it happened. He felt he was being treated differently. He thought there was some kind of conspiracy brewing  with his superiors to get rid of him. He was the scapegoat for problems with production.

I listened with a grain of salt. Back then everyone was out to get him. If it wasn't the people at work, it was the the guy driving behind him, the girl at the Tim Horton's drive thru, the neighbours, his sister, my family, the kids or me.

I didn't really believe they were trying to get rid of him. It just did't make any sense. There was no paper trail of reprimands. He was knowledgeable and a senior employee. He was able to get his crew to complete work that his predecessors couldn't do. He was a valuable member of the team and it would be hard to replace someone with his experience and knowledge.

Well, they called it restructuring within the organization. Sales were down. They had to cut costs. No hard feelings. 

He was furious. There were so many other employees who had been there for less time. He trained many of them the procedures at this site because he brought his experience with him from the previous site. He wrote the procedural manual for crying out loud. Why was he being walked out the door?

It was a vendetta. That guy didn't like him because Gary stood up for himself and his crew. And that guy didn't want someone who was a thinker who tried to make improvements; he just wanted a "yes" man or maybe a mini-me to do his bidding. 

I think they got rid of him because he wasn't able to perform at the same level as before. 

I guess we will never really know the truth. But it's out there. Isn't it?

Wrongful Dismissal

A

s time passed my husband became more furious. He was consumed by it. He was obsessing about it. We talked about it. Restructuring? What a feeble attempt to cover up a wrongful dismissal

So he went to a lawyer who took his case. This lawyer didn't want a retainer and he would wait for payment until the settlement cheque came in. A dream come true right? It was for my husband. Even when the lawyer said he wanted twenty five percent, or was it thirty percent of the net, the dream remained because this meant someone else believed him.

I'll just cut to the chase. If only we knew then what we know now. I don't believe in regrets. There is a reason for the things which happen to us and it has made us who we are today.  And hopefully we have learned from those experiences. But this lawyer? This lawyer did not have my husband's best interest at heart. 

If Only We Knew Then

I

t seemed to take forever for the negotiations to be over. We thought it was because the lawyer was trying to get as much as he could. After all the more he obtained for my husband, the more he would receive. 

By the time the government took their share, and the lawyer got his share, my husband got a few thousand dollars. That just did not seem right to me. After five years of service? There should have been more especially at his pay rate. And then to pour salt into the wound, E.I. clawed it back so we weren't any further ahead.

Clawed back. A term I just learned. While on E.I. benefits you have to claim all income and they will reduce your benefit amount. Well, as soon as the cheque came in for the wrongful dismissal, E.I. informed Gary that he had been overpaid and now owed the government a few thousand dollars.

If only we knew then what we know now. My husband could have gotten a lot more money. And there should have been a way to prevent the clawed back.

Maybe my husband was right. Everyone is out to get him. And take advantage of him.

The Law of Attraction

Defined

What is the law of attraction? I first read about it in Rhonda Byrne's book, The Secret. Since then I have noticed the term all over the net, in movies and television. 

Curtis Rivers

I believe the simplest explanation that I have read so far is an excerpt From Curtis Rivers' up and coming book titled Seven Paths to Freedom.

"You attract into your life exactly what you hold in your mind for a sustained period of time. This is the basic principal in life that so many over- look or they simply underestimate its unfathomable power.  Thoughts of doubt attract more doubt into your life. By thinking doubt with your mind, you FEEL doubt in your heart - and when you feel doubt you powerfully attract doubt into your life like a super charged magnet.

Thoughts of worry attract more worry into your life. By worrying in your mind, you FEEL that heavy feeling of worry in your heart - and when you feel worry you attract more things, people and circumstances into your life, that will cause you to worry!  This is THE great law of life, as real as the law of gravity, and quite obvious when you sit and think about it.

The reverse is also true - thoughts of love, FEELING love, can only attract more people, circumstances and opportunities that lead to you experiencing more love in your life.

 From Chapter One of Curtis Rivers book, Seven Paths to Freedom.

This is the basic principle. There is a little more to it but I'm sure this gives you a good idea about the Law of Attraction.

Over the next few days I will be sharing more information about the law of attraction. Follow along with me on my journey. Together we can attract good things into our lives.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

PTSD Crashed Into Our Lives

The Nightmare

t

o say it has been difficult would be an understatement. For me it has been a living nightmare from which I can not wake. For him? That is a little hard for me to answer. He has been dealing with it for almost four years now in secret. He didn't share anything with anyone. He believed    he was going insane.

The Accident

H

e could tell you the exact year, day and time that it happened. It has been burned forever into his memory. 

Not me. Most days I can't remember how old I am. Ya, I feel dumb admitting that but it's true. I don't even remember if the accident occurred in the winter or summer.  

He called me at work on the day of the accident. I could hear his voice quivering as he spoke then he broke down. I didn't know what to think or how to react so I just listened.

His coworker, his friend fell from the second floor of the house they were working on, head first into the cement. My husband ran to his friend's side. His friend was not moving and his eyes were wide open blankly staring into space. 

He's dead.

I can't image.

Gary yelled out for help and stayed with his friend till others arrived and took over.

That was the day everything changed. The accident killed the man my husband was but his friend survived.

The Next Day

t

he man who hired Gary walked across the parking lot to join him in the car. Since my husband’s transfer to a different department, Joe was no longer his supervisor but the two of them had kept in touch and I suppose they were friends. 

Joe knew my husband enough to see there was something wrong. They spoke briefly then went into work.

The company had brought in some sort of specialist, a counselor to speak to the crew. My husband was the first person to go in the office. This woman was there to counsel the employees. What were her credentials? Where did they get her from? She told my husband to get plenty of sleep, eat properly, exercise and keep happy thoughts. My husband scoffed. What kind of ridiculous advice was this? And he left the room to return back to work.

The Storm Clouds

Where is My Husband

H

e worked a lot. I'm not sure if he worked more . . . but it seemed like he was working all the time. When he wasn't working he was sleeping. If he wasn't sleeping he was miserable.

 I remember brief appearances where he would come down from the bedroom to get something to eat. His pacing; the scowl on his face; the swearing because he couldn't find something.  We couldn't do anything without agitating him. We couldn't do anything right. We were damned if we did and damned if we didn't.

The atmosphere in our home was awful. We felt it the moment we walked in the door. It just got worse the longer we were there. Oh, sorry I forgot to mention that this atmosphere was only present when he was there. We walked on egg shells whenever he was there. 

I was so grateful for the hours he worked. He left for work just before the girls got home from school and returned when we were asleep. Those times were great. The girls and I could relax and enjoy each others company. We laughed, sang, played games, watched movies, did homework together . . . 

The weekends were unbearable when he was around. I would take the kids out as much as possible because anywhere was better than home. We spent much of our time at parks, beaches, the homes of family and friends.

I can chuckle to myself now but then? He would get so angry he looked like a rabid dog! His face would get red. The blue vein in the middle of his forehead got huge and pulsed with a life of it's own. He would clench his teeth and you could see his jaw muscles throbbing. Spitting mad? I thought it was just an expression. Not true. His spit got frothy and gathered at the sides of his mouth. Some spit would shoot out at me when he was yelling. I would have to dodge it or get it in the face!

But honestly, it wasn't funny at all. I could see his outbursts coming. It started with him being easily agitated. The smallest things annoyed him. He paced back and forth on the dining room floor. Before I knew it he was bitching and complaining. (He'd say, men don't bitch.) I'd ask what's wrong. We, meaning the girls and I, were the problem.

Yep, it's time to run and hide now. Daddy is getting grumpy again.

Do you know someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? I would love to read your story.


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